Lingerie is the spice you add to sex [Valentine Special – 18+]


The first time I visited her shop at Bodija, I felt so uncomfortable with so much bras, pants, and thongs flying around. Her customers didn’t help matters either as they were openly discussing breasts without caring that I was even around.

“Oh I really love that bra I bought from you,” one of them said.

“Shebi I told you,” she replied with infectious smiles. “Oya come and see new bras that I have in stock.”

They totally forgot that a guy was in their midst.

Without any doubt, ladies are really obsessed with lingerie. In addition to shoes and bags, a lady will never tell you that she has had enough lingerie. Which means if you are in a serious relationship and you don’t know what to give your wife as Valentine gift, just call people like Mrs Tope Okewusi, the founder of Ibadan-based Undies & More, an enterprise that sells lingerie.

What exactly do Ibadan ladies know about lingerie?

“Lingerie is really a big word for an average woman in Ibadan. They can relate to bra and pant,” Okewusi said.

According to her, lingerie also includes includes nightwear – sexy apparel worn by women.

But she noted that the response of Ibadan ladies to authentic lingerie has been slow, very slow. This she said is because very few women know the importance of wearing good quality lingerie.

I often wonder why ladies are so obsessed with bras and pants, desiring to own so many even though they all basically do the same thing. But Okewusi believes the thing about lingerie is beyond holding breasts from swinging around.

“Very few women understand the fact that what you wear inside is equally as important as what is seen outside. More value is placed on the outer garment more than the inner garment. But what actually makes the outer garment beautiful is the undergarment. It gives your clothes a better fit. A good bra under a good cloth,” she told me.

Impacts of lingerie on sex life

Since she has so many customers within and beyond the city, I decided to ask about her clients which she said are mostly trendy women.

“They are very trendy women, women that know that men are moved by what they see and want to satisfy their spouses,” she said.

But I disagreed with her considering the fact that whether the bra is N300 or the pant is N5,000, at the end, it will come off. So why waste all that money on expensive lingerie? She then summoned our parents. This was where our dialogue got more interesting.

“Some of us grew up with the idea that a woman’s underwear should only be white, and saw our mums going to bed in their Ankara wrappers. We carry such ideas into our matrimonial homes,” she said.

I asked her: “But do you think lingerie is making us have better sex than our parents?”

“Yes. I believe so,” she replied.

Tantalizers and Iya Ramo

To prove her point, she argued using a rather interesting analogy.

“Why would you buy rice from Tantalizers and not from Iya Ramo by the road side? It’s packaging right?” she asked. “That’s the way it is bro.”

” But this is sex and not rice. You are eating more spices with the rice from Tantalizers while for sex, lingerie is coming off eventually, just like our parents’ Ankara wrappers,” I fired back.

She replied: “You are attracted to what you see. Yes. Iya Ramo and Tantalizers both sell rice. Sex is sex. Lingerie is the spice you add to it.”

Talking bra sizes

She said even though they are wearing bras, most ladies don’t know their real size.

“8 out of 10 women do not know their correct bra size. They wear wrong bra sizes and that’s why you see a woman’s breasts popping out under her cloth,” she said.

But I informed her that some ladies are actually doing it intentionally to give the impression that they are ‘endowed’.

“That’s why there are push up bras to enhance your breasts if they are small. There is a plunge padded push up bra. No matter how small your breasts are, it will give you an appearance of fuller breasts. Without wearing a small cup size,” she said.

Male lingerie customers

I tried to figure out whether there are men that actually go through the Herculean task of purchasing bras. She said yes.

“I have more than 30 married male customers. Some come to the store, I transact with some online. They buy bras, pants and sexy nightwear,” she said.

So I asked her when is it appropriate for a man to buy lingerie for a lady?

She replied: “If the relationship is heading towards marriage and they are engaged. I don’t believe in premarital sex but I feel it’s better for the woman to know what her spouse likes if she wants to keep him at home.”

Guide to buying bra for your lady

She said every woman must have at least one t-shirt bra, a lacy bra, balconnete bra, the plunge bra, the sports bra, the strapless bra, and the longline bra. You may have to ask Google for what those ones mean.

If you are a guy like me and have no idea about what lingerie is all about but you want to surprise your lady, she said it is easier if you know her cup size but if you don’t, you can get her a gift voucher.

“It’s a bit hard if you don’t know her size. Get her a gift voucher and she can redeem it at the shop,” the lingerie entrepreneur said.

But she agreed that lingerie is a good Valentine Day gift and recommended that pants should be changed after 6 months while bras can last as long as one year or more depending on the brand and quality.


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